The Minds and Motivations of Bachelor Contestants, Part 2
Could you imagine watching back parts of your life on film? You would likely do a lot of introspecting on how you can improve who you are. Likewise, Bachelor contestants frequently report undergoing significant emotional growth as a result of watching themselves back on the show. So, what if we can learn something from them too?
This is part two of me finding the Enneagram types of Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants. The Enneagram is an ancient personality system of types 1 through 9 explaining the childhood origins of different personality traits. Enneagram types remain the same throughout one's life, however expression and healthiness can vary.
I will review a few of the most popular contestants' motivations, virtues, and vices, and hopefully help you learn something about yourself along the way. Let's get started!
Hannah Ann, The Bachelor Season 24 - Type 3 wing 2 - The Performer
Hannah Ann was the winner of Peter Weber's season of The Bachelor, although their relationship unfortunately didn't work out. Hannah Ann didn't show much emotion until the very end of the show. After Peter broke up with her during one of their post-show couple meet-ups, she ridiculed him for taking their relationship this far despite knowing he was not ready for their relationship. I think that Hannah Ann is a 3 wing 2.
A 3 is the Performer, or one who is very competitive and would rather be appreciated for her accomplishments than her identity or more personal traits.
Hannah Ann exuded competitiveness and image-consciousness throughout the show. On a group date revolving around a 'fashion show' challenge, she boldly walked down the runway in a wedding dress and basked in the attention of both Peter and the other women. At the end of the show she even accepted Peter's proposal despite reporting later that she knew it wasn't right.
At After the Final Rose she expressed anger and fierce independence - a common defense mechanism employed by 3s. In their pursuit to be winners, 3s often express themselves as another Enneagram type - the 8 - a more aggressive, confrontational type, in order to maintain a winning image. Hannah Ann's 2 'wing' is a number next to her number with which she shares some traits. A 2 wing means that Hannah Ann puts others before herself and is attentive to their needs.
3s often struggle with emotional depth, and should focus more on their relationships to balance their competitiveness with personal satisfaction.
Madison, The Bachelor Season 24 - Type 6 wing 7 - The Loyalist
Madison was arguably Peter's top pick, but self-eliminated and ended up runner-up of the season. Madison once posted on her Instagram story that she is an 8 on the Enneagram, the Protector, but I simply don't believe her. You could argue that she knows herself better than I do, but just hear me out.
8s are aggressive and confrontational. Albeit being an avid basketball player and highly competitive from what we've seen on the show, Madison also displayed strong loyalty and aversion to conflict. These traits are uncommon in 8s, who can be highly confrontational and are rugged individualists. Madison did not get involved in any arguments on the show, often being seen laughing or walking away as they were happening, and is highly committed to the Auburn basketball community of which her father is the coach. In contrast, an 8 might pursue a path contrary to her family or insert herself in the middle of arguments.
I think Madison is a 6 wing 7. A 6 is the Loyalist, or one who fears authority and typically conforms to societal norms, but can occasionally tune out fear to become more aggressive. This explains Madison's strong loyalty and tendency to follow the will of her family as well as her aggressiveness in the face of competition. A 6 'integrating,' or at its healthiest, can act like an Enneagram type 3, the Performer. For this reason many 6s enjoy sports and other competition. Her 7 wing, the Adventurer, means she also loves seeking an adrenaline rush, which may be exactly why she went on the show.
Kelsey, The Bachelor Season 24 - Type 8 wing 9 - The Protector
Kelsey was the second runner-up on Peter's season of The Bachelor. Kelsey is best known for bringing a special two year-old bottle of Champagne on the show to open with Peter, and ultimately yelling at Hannah Ann for accidentally opening the bottle first.
While Hannah Ann didn't enjoy the confrontation and tried to apologize (as a 3 she often avoids confrontation to maintain a good image), Kelsey (while probably intoxicated, to be fair) raised her voice at Hannah Ann and refused to accept an apology. However, later in the show, while on a date with Peter, she was surprisingly calm and likeable.
Kelsey seems like an 8 wing 9. An 8 is the Protector, or one who seeks to control the world around her as a result of growing up in an environment that was out of control or made her feel threatened. As a child, Kelsey's parents went through a difficult divorce, leaving her to handle the fallout of the situation largely on her own, and likely causing her to adopt controlling tendencies. A 9 is the Peacemaker, or one who thinks her opinions are not valid due to being neglected or suppressed growing up. Kelsey likely has a 9 wing because, although aggressive, she eventually apologized for lashing out and became good friends with many of the other women on the show.
Clare, Season 15 Bachelorette - Type 2 wing 1 - The Giver
Clare was the first Bachelorette for Season 15 of The Bachelorette, but left the show early because she fell in love with Dale. Although we didn't see too much of Clare's personality on this season, her actions on past seasons of The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise make me think she is a 2 wing 1.
A 2 is the Giver, or one who puts the needs of others before her own and has a sense of pride in her selflessness. 2s in 'disintegration,' or when they are unhealthy, begin to act like an 8, the Protector, when they resent that others are taking advantage of their generosity. Such resentment seems to be how Clare approaches failed relationships. We saw in her conversations with Yosef and in the past with Juan Pablo that she goes through cycles of sacrificing herself for men, becoming angry at them for taking advantage of her, and then feeling proud of herself for standing up for herself. When Yosef shared with her that he felt offended by the nude volleyball date, she said, "I let you talk this whole time," and then reprimanded him for trying to walk all over her.
Although it is healthy for 2s to stand up for themselves, this defense mechanism becomes unhealthy when one prides herself on reprimanding men rather than moving on, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of failed relationships. On the positive side, as a 2, Clare is very supportive of her friends and family. This was apparent on Season 2 of Bachelor in Paradise when she supported co-star Tenley through her many relationship struggles. Her 1 wing means that she is a leader with a strong moral compass.
Tayshia, Season 15 Bachelorette - Type 3 wing 2 - The Performer
Tayshia swooped in and saved The Bachelorette when Claire fell in love with Dale and left the show after just two weeks of filming. Tayshia is very sociable and seems capable of becoming friends with almost anyone. During hometown dates with her top four men, she treated each family as if she had known them forever. This is usually a trait of 2s, but I do not think she is a full 2.
I think Tayshia is a 3 wing 2. She exhibits the sociable, caring traits of a 2 without the raw emotion and affection that usually comes with it. When she cried on her date with Ivan, she expressed that she is usually not like this. She has the social tendencies of a 2 with the motivation of a 3: to achieve a likeable image. This has made her a good Bachelorette because she has high energy and is willing to put the necessary work in to finish filming.
Ivan, The Bachelorette Season 15 - Type 5 wing 4 - The Observer
Ivan was the second runner-up on Tayshia's season of The Bachelorette. On Ivan's first one-on-one date with Tayshia we saw a lot of his personality when he revealed that his brother went to prison, forcing him to take the responsibility of caring for his niece. He seems to have strong compassion for his brother's situation and a natural capacity to step forward when things are going wrong.
I think Ivan is a 5 wing 4. This was a difficult decision because he also has a lot of traits of a 1, the Perfectionist, and a 2, the Giver. I finally decided on a 5, the Observer, because, at the end of the show, he made an Instagram post mentioning that he usually is a very private person, and that the show forced him to be more creative and empathetic. 5s tend to be shy and keep to themselves due to a childhood in which they felt the world was too much for them to handle. As a result, they usually pursue a specific interest, often an academic one, which they learn about to feel more secure. This makes sense for Ivan, who is an aeronautical engineer.
A 4, the Romantic, is more empathetic and in touch with his emotions. This reflects the side of Ivan which he embraced on the show, as he shared his feelings and became close with Tayshia. He also has some traits of a 1, the Perfectionist, as he is very responsible and trustworthy, but his 5 traits seem to outweigh.
Ben, The Bachelorette Season 15 - Type 1 wing 2 - The Perfectionist
Ben is a fan favorite and runner-up on Tayshia's season of The Bachelorette. On the show, Tayshia often said to Ben, "you're so perfect," and during hometowns his sister repetitively said that he "wears his heart on his sleeve," but sometimes "puts up walls."
I think Ben is a 1 wing 2. A 1 is the Perfectionist, or someone who maintains the same perfectionism in their work as they do in their self-presentation. This can sometimes make them seem closed off or uncommunicative. Ben went to West Point, showing that he was likely a responsible student and athlete.
He has also been very open about his past eating disorder and how he struggles to accept help from other people. When he was in a dark place mentally a few years ago, he only turned to his sister for help, stating that he feared burdening others with his problems. This is a common trait of a 2, the Giver. 2s take pride in helping others and as a result fear asking for help. However, this does not seem to be his main type, as a full 2 would be very willingly to open up and show his emotions.
Blake Moynes, The Bachelorette Season 15 - Type 6 wing 7 - The Loyalist
Blake is also from Tayshia's season of The Bachelorette. Since his first moment on the show he seemed to exhibit high levels of anxiety. When he met Clare, he told her that he read a book on Alzheimer's so he could understand the situation of her mother, who struggles with the condition. Such preparation is common in those who fear an oncoming situation. When Clare left the show to be with Dale, Blake felt that she had betrayed his trust.
Blake is likely a 6 wing 7. A 6 is the Loyalist, or one who seeks security in their life by learning everything about a situation and gaining trust in authority. This explains why he read a book in preparation to meet Clare and felt betrayed when she left. He also has a trait common in some (but not all) 6s: a shaky voice. Some 6s have this trait because their greatest motivation is fear.
Blake also seemed to have a good sense of humor. Occasionally, 6s will tune out the fear that guides them and become more risk-taking - this is what he seemed to be doing. His 7 wing, the Adventurer, means that he sometimes embraces this side of himself to become more fun and adventurous.
Bennet, The Bachelorette Season 15 - Type 3 wing 4 - The Performer
Bennett was another contestant on Tayshia's Season of The Bachelorette. Bennett is known for being very showy and focused on his image. The first scene in which we saw him, he was sitting on his porch reading a book about emotional intelligence and bragging about having gone to Harvard. Throughout the show, he boasted about his "chateaus" in various cities and insinuated that he could treat Tayshia better than other men could because of his money.
Bennett is most likely a 3 wing 4. A 3 is the Performer, or someone who is competitive and would rather be appreciated for his accomplishments than who he is. This explains why Bennett used every challenge on the show as an opportunity to brag about his money and accomplishments. Notice how Tayshia is also a 3, but she and Bennett are very different (this is both because they have different wing types and because an infinite number of factors outside of the Enneagram influence personality).
I also considered the possibility that Bennett is a 1, the Perfectionist. A 1 is motivated by responsibility, whereas a 3 is motivated by the spotlight. Bennet is clearly more focused on showing off than responsibility, so I ruled out that he is a 1. Bennett's wing, the 4, or the Romantic, is very introspective and expressive. This explains Bennett's affinity for fancy clothing, as well as his passion for learning about emotional intelligence.
These are my takes on Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants' Enneagram types. Some people argue that sorting humans into boxes is negative, but it is important to remember that we are already in these boxes - we all have negative traits for which we are known. Becoming aware of them is not a path to confinement, but liberation.
As you become aware of who you are, take a look at some of these contestants to see how they have grown. Personal growth begins with awareness, often awareness we did not know we needed or did not even know was possible.